Monday, December 26, 2011

It is time for a new year and positive changes

I am relieved that Christmas has come and gone because this has been  a depressing and stressful part of the year for me.  I am ready to start a new year and leave the disappointments and failures behind me. This past year of 2011 I have gone through various changes. One change that happened to me was that I started seeing a new guy friend, but it ended  recently(a few weeks ago). As a matter of fact, I am still disappointed about the way it happened. I know I was guilty of not spending enough time with him and not communicating enough with him as well. I guess I took him for granted. In addition, I was a little bit afraid of having a serious relationship and a boyfriend. I understand why he let me go, but I do not like the fact that he accused me of seeing someone else. I was not seeing someone else, but I guess that was his excuse for letting me go. Then, I made matters worse by trying to convince him I was not seeing anyone else. Now, he will not even answer my calls. I do not want to force him to come back to me, but I want to explain to him about my fear of being committed to him. I am thinking about writing him, but I am becoming hesitant of doing that.  Well, I am going to let him go, but I must decide on whether to send the letter or not.  Another change that I went through was I quit a very stressful job without taking another job first.  I have currently been doing some jobs at home on the Internet, but I am thinking about finding a good job in the real world that was better than the one I had before. I feel like I am in the process of self- awakening because I am going through so many tests and tribulations. I have learned  from this relationship that I must be very active in communicating with a partner or let them go. Also, I have learned that I must explain my problems that I have with relationships before I become involved in a relationship. This must be done to preserve the feelings of my friend and myself. I am ready for a new year and positive changes.

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